Loading ...If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
If you’ve had the chance to visit the lovely, up and coming neighborhood of Park Slope, there’s a good chance you’ve had at least one encounter with the Stroller Mafia. Sure, the stroller mafia is probably an inevitable side effect of gentrification but that still doesn’t take away the sheer terror of finding yourself face to face with a group of stroller wielding yipsters (half yuppies half old hipsters) with a since of entitlement. It is my friends, a ride you don’t want to find yourself on.
The stroller mafia has managed to completely infiltrate Park Slope and make it their own. These women aren’t toting around your average, everyday strollers, hell no! They’re sporting the top of the line in stroller power, they have two, three and sometimes four seater strollers waiting to mow you down on the sidewalk for so much as unintentional glance in their direction.
I’ve heard stories of the SM actually forming roving gangs of 9 or 10 or sometimes more, and completely taking over restaurants, bookstores not to mention the poor boutiques. There’s a Park Slope legend that says after one such incident, a bartender at the restaurant they took over was never quite the same, and could be heard muttering "please, no more mimosa’s" under his breath for weeks.
Wreckless, savage, entitled, when the SM rolls in they leave a breast feeding, baby screaming, food throwing, mother hitting trail of destruction. This is fair warning to all, if you dare brave the Slope, beware. The stroller mafia is everywhere.
The SM lives by strict code of conduct that cannot be broken. Rule number one, there is only one rule, and that’s to never, ever discipline your kids. Ever! Rumor has it a woman once politely asked her kid to "please sit down". No one ever saw her again. Some say she went into hiding…others, well I don’t really want to get into what the others say happened.
Sure, there are still nice, decent things about Park Slope. Are they harder to find now with the lawless band of stroller kingpins around? Maybe. Will the SM be able to maintain its iron grip of power forever? Who knows. What’s certain though is that for now, there’s only one law in this neighborhood and that’s the law of the stroller mafia.
—admin
Subscribe to Metadish using an 
2 Comments
1. Frank Lynch
2. James
Want a neat little picture by your comments? Get one here.I presume you had a recent encounter which put this to the forefront of your mind? Because I’ve lived just outside the Slope for 15 years, and not much of this is new. The larger strollers may be, but the prevalence of strollers is not. It’s a very family-oriented neighborhood. Yes, it indexes high for gays and lesbians, too, but kids are in full display.
Posted Monday, October 24, 2005 at 10:26 pm | Permalink
There are quite a few gays and lesbians in the neighborhood with kids, either adopted or from former relationships. That’s one reason I like this neighborhood is that it’s so progressive.
But come on, this place has really changed in the past 5 years. Even the people who gentrified it in the first place are starting to get priced out now.
Posted Thursday, October 27, 2005 at 11:55 am | Permalink
Post a Comment