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Lohan bares all in the new vanity fair. Another psuedo-symbolic excuse for a celeb to do a new semi-nude “bare all” photoshoot, while bravely “baring all” of what’s on the “inside” too. Usually admitting to things that were blatently obvious to all but the mildly retarded years ago.

Lohan, who admitted to having Bulimia also “admitted” to, brace yourself, (dramatic pause) drug use.

The actress also says that she used drugs “a little,” then quickly
adds: “I’ve gotten that out of my system. … I don’t want people to
think that I’ve done … you know what I mean? It’s kind of a sore
subject.”

She also “admitted” the sky was blue and the sun rises in the East. Umm, thanks Lindsay, but we don’t think we needed a “bare all” expose’ to figure out those “shocking” details.

We think it’s great that Lindsay is feeling better about herself, but let’s not get too full of ourselves.

With the position that I’ve kind of come into I’m in a place where I
can really make an impact on people and really help girls that are, you
know, people with anorexia, people that aren’t in good relationships
with their lovers… people that don’t get along with their parents. I
can change that a little bit.

Except for maybe the anorexia part, that’s pretty much the entire fucking world at some point in their lives. Don’t worry everyone, Lindsay is going to change all that. And we’re for one grateful. After the failure of egomaniacs like Ghandi and Mother Theresa, we need a selfless person like Lindsay Lohan, vaulted into position by a film like ‘Herbie: Fully Loaded’, to come along and “change” things “a little bit”.

But even selfless world-changers like Lindsay have pet peeves. Whatever you do, don’t ask her how she’s doing. Ever!

“Don’t ever say this to me, ‘Are you O.K.?’ It’s like Yeah, motherfucker, I’m fine.�?

All right, geez, calm down psycho.

Without further ado, semi-nude, fully-confessed, possibly pregnant? Lindsay Lohan.

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