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Tapes to be cleaned and sterilized before being returned
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WASHINGTON, DC (MGB) - Today US Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales told a Senate committee today that, despite warnings to stop from the President himself, he has continued his controversial practice of listening to NSA surveillance tapes in his underwear.
Although Gonzales claims he does not touch himself inappropriately during his sessions, he could not give the panel "absolute assurance" that someone else wasn’t touching him inappropriately.
Appearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee to testify on what the administration calls a "terrorist surveillance program" run by the super-secret National Security Agency, Gonzales came under fire from committee Democrats, who characterized the program as illegal and Gonzales’s behavior as both creepy and disturbing.
Gonzales called the NSA tapes "some of the hottest stuff I’ve ever heard in my life! You wouldn’t believe the shit people say to each other over the phone these days!" He told the committee, "Regardless of whether you believe the program is legal or not, I ask you to simply listen to ten minutes of these tapes and then tell me it is not the hottest shit of all time!
—admin
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