Metadish, Fresh from NYC

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Poor little Evangeline Lilly. Sure she’s a star on a hit television show on ABC. Sure the show films in Hawaii which means for half the year she gets paid to live in a tropical paradise. But really, none of us can imagine how hard it is to be poor little Evangeline. I’m sure she would trade places with anyone of us to get out of that living hell she calls a life.

“The notion of ‘aloha’ is really nice when you are a visitor walking on the sidewalk and everyone’s cool and going, ‘Yay! Aloha!’ But when you are on the road running late for work and everyone’s f**king ‘Yay! Aloha!’ you want to snap!

“No one understands that there is a passing lane, no one understands there is a speed limit you can exceed.”

I for one, thank god everyday that I don’t live in a hell hole like that. Thankfully I live in a city where people knock you down to get to where they’re going, every lane is a passing lane and a speed limit? Fuhgettaboutit. And instead of saying, “Yay! Aloha!” they all say, “get the fuck out of my way asshole!”. I can’t imagine the nightmare Evangeline Lilly is living through in Hawaii.

But her trauma doesn’t end there. No, she’s way more cursed than most people. “What curse is that?” you ask. The curse of beauty. She finally has the nerve to confront it in her Elle Magazine interview.

“I used to cry myself to sleep wishing I was ugly because of the way men leered at and disrespected me.”

I think all of us ugly people can be glad that we’re blessed to be ugly enough not to be leered at and disrespected. I never really knew how tough Evangeline Lilly had it. Who could have guessed how traumatic living in a laid back tropical paradise and being beautiful could be?

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