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Here’s our advice to people traveling. Don’t take a 6:00AM flight from anywhere, especially if you have to make a connection, and especially if the flights are just long enough to keep you awake, but just short enough not to give you time to doze off because of the annoying announcements.
Why can’t the airlines just be honest with their announcements? “In the event of a catastrophic emergency, you more than likely will not survive. If by chance you do survive, good luck, don’t forget to find the emergency exits.”
Hey airlines, WE ALL KNOW HOW TO PUT ON A FUCKING SEATBELT! And seriously, if you don’t know how to work a seatbelt and that somehow causes you to die while everyone else who managed to master the seatbelt survived, then good for mankind. We just got one more dumbass out of the gene pool.
Another thing, now you’re allowing nail files and small pocket knives and scissors back on the planes, but I still have to take my shoes off everytime I step in a fucking airport? You think we can reverse that genius plan? 12 guys hijack 4 planes with sharp objects and carry out the bloodiest attack on on American soil ever, and 1 guy spends 15 minutes trying to light his fucking shoe on fire before he got his ass kicked by the other passengers, so now we have to take off our shoes, but small pocket knives are ok again?
And OK, we get it, there’s no smoking on airplanes anymore, for like 10 years now. Does it still have to be on every ticket and above every seat? I think it’s sunk in by now.
Well anyway, we’re back and tired but we’ll be rested and full of piss and vinegar on Monday, enjoy the weekend.
—admin
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