Metadish, Fresh from NYC

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Thanks to our favorite sluring celeb Paula Abdul American Idols “Love Songs” week put the F’d back in Fun.

I was a little worried in the begining of the show. Paula was being way too clear and making way too much sense in her critique of Katharine McPhee’s lame attempt at Whitney Houston. But thankfully, Paula was just waiting for the right moment in the show to start her meltdown. Never peak too early.

Side note: The yellow pantied crotch shots and never realized nipple slip tension from Ms. McPhee may just push the male vote over the top enough to keep her out of the bottom 3 this week.

Elliot sang…blah…blah… Weird arrangement, great vocals, blah…blah… Cut to Paula bawling like a baby, babbling about being true, love from the start and waffles. Whatever. We have our Paula back.

Paula went on to stutter through trying not to tell Kelly Pickler how bad she and that weird half yodled robotic drone sucked. What exactly was that anyway? It sounded like someone tripped over a cat. Vocals aside, between Kelly’s hair and her ass I’m not sure which looked more swollen. The whole thing was just a mess. And Kelly, it’s pretty bad when I blind man can tell you’re a blond.

Paris’s performance was loud but not very moving. I think Paris summed it up when she explained before hand that she had experienced memories but not romantic love. I think her speaking voice is a dead give away on that front. You can’t sing an emotional power ballot about the most gut wrentching breakup in your life if you’ve never seen a a grown man naked. Tell you what, take the next few months to go to a few parties, drink you body weight in Zimas, sleep with about a dozen dirt bags who you swear are THE ONE, then give us a call.

Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Has Simon’s constant reminding that you will never be more than a second set Las Vegas lounge singer taken it’s toll? Last night’s lack luster performance would suggest so. I think the performance was summed up best by the first lines Taylor sang…”I did my best but I guess my best wasn’t good enough.” Only time will tell my friend. It was fun watching Simon restrain himself from back handing Paula in her staggering rant to defend Taylor.

The only real emotion, love, lust, sex, hot, wet, MMMmmmm… Um, what was I saying. Oh yeah, Chris Daughtry looked great and sang something even Simon said was sexy. I did hear it but finished half way through and had to go for a smoke. Now that I think about it, I think the performance needs more Tivoed review….

Bottom three: Katharine, Taylor, Kelly.

Leaving: Taylor.

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