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An uptown Antique dealer, Karl Kemp, will sue the fashion icons of Madison Ave, homeless men and women, for allegedly engaging in “anti-social, offensive and objectionable” behavior outside of his showroom.
He is living out every Upper Eastsiders, litigious dreams by squeezing $1 million dollars out of his neighborhood’s impoverished citizens. Now, is this amount per person or could 1 million homeless people get together to pay it?
Kemp is irate that these men and woman can turn the area in front of his store window, which is painstakingly decorated with high end pieces from the Biedermeier, French Art Deco and Classical periods, into a one bedroom apartment without walls. We think he is upset because his customers have to walk through pee to see his display. But really, that’s all part of the charm and serves to really enhance the experience.
New York Daily News, lauding their journalistic abilities, believed they found a man involved in the lawsuit and described him as, “a homeless man wearing a puffy winter coat huddled over a steam grate last night outside the shop’s window.”
They observed him take off his shoes and rub his feet. With those same hands, unwashed, he moved on to rubbing his face.
When they asked him whether he was a part of the lawsuit, he ran away. They failed to see how the man could have been a bit insane and took this as a, “yes.”
The Daily News also made out like bandits because, in his terror, he left behind two giant garbage bags filled with white paper and cloth. That has to be worth, like, $1,000 or something.
Patrick Mackeen of the Coalition of Homeless, makes the logical suggestion that Kemp just call 311.
But where is the excitement in that?
Hobo Madness Hits Madison Ave [New York Daily News]
—Elizabeth
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