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A Long Island couple decided to try in-vitro fertilization when they realized that sex wasn’t going to help them conceive their second-child. According to the plan, the Park Avenue clinic was supposed to take Thomas Andrews, the white husband’s, sperm and inseminate Nancy Andrews, the Dominican wife, with it. Somehow the child, Jessica, who came out of her body nine months later possessed, “characteristics more typical of African or African-American descent.”

The doctor at the clinic attempted to allay the couples fear that they had given birth to a partially black child when he told them her skin should lighten up in a couple of weeks. Apparently, dark skin is almost like a little rash.

When it didn’t “clear up,” the Andrews proceeded to take three DNA tests to prove that Thomas wasn’t the father.

Now, this could mean one of two things. Either Nancy’s got a little tenderoni on the side or the fertility clinic F’ed up. The Andrews decided to accuse the clinic of inseminating her with the wrong sperm.

Knowing that they look like jerks for being so upset about having a black child, the couple attempted to express affection for the baby.

“While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her,” the Andrews said in documents filed in Manhattan Supreme Court. “It is simply impossible to ignore.”

We just want to point out two things. First, they probably shouldn’t refer to her as Baby Jessica because the little girl who fell down the well already took that name. Second, it probably won’t help Jessica later on in life when she reads this article and sees that her parents referred to her as a “terrible mistake.”

The couple further elucidated their disappointment when they said, “we fear that our daughter will be the object of scorn and ridicule by other children, both in school and as she grows up.” Do they really believe that, because she is possibly not half-white, her life will necessarily be filled with strife and hardship? Would they rather this child didn’t exist?

The State Supreme Court Justice Sheila Abdus-Salaam allowed the malpractice lawsuit to proceed, but threw out certain parts. For instance, she decided to disregard the couple’s assertion that they suffered mental distress as a result of Jessica’s appearance.

“The birth of an unwanted but otherwise healthy and normal child does not constitute an injury to the child’s parents,” Abdus-Salaam wrote.

What a mess, baby [New York Daily News]

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