Metadish, Fresh from NYC

Look, I can clean my own house, I just choose not to.  But do you think I flew all the way to some unfortunate, third-world country to find somebody to dust off my Precious Moments statues?  Let’s get real.

Varsha Mahender Sabhnani and her husband, Mahender Murliddhar Sabhnani - perfume moguls from the mega-rich community of Muttontown - were hauled into federal court yesterday to face charges including beating, cutting and scalding one of the victims and committing “incomprehensible . . . inhumanity” against both.

Varsha’s cruelty included forcing Samirah to take as many as 30 ice-cold showers in a row, run up and down a flight of stairs 150 times as fast as she could - and gulp down at least 25 “extremely hot chili peppers at one time,” according to the arrest warrant.

Listen, when my boss used to tell me to go pick up his dry cleaning I didn’t get half naked and go to Dunkin’ Donuts crying like a baby.  But now I’m a fucking blogging mogul and I don’t have a boss to tell me to do crazy shit like “be to work on time” or “stop stealing pens”.  Now I let my blogging empire do the talking.  That and my standing order to have 25 pizzas delivered to his office every Thursday afternoon.

And not that I’m sticking up for this crazy Varsha chick but look at her for Christ’s sake.  It’s like she’s straight from central casting to play the evil, domineering, secret slave keeping whackjob neighbor.

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