Metadish, Fresh from NYC

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While Mika Brzezinski gets a little crazy about opening with a Paris Hilton story, I feel sort of obliged too. I don’t mind it really. I mean after my fifth shot of vodka for my morning pick-me-up most of my emotions are dead anyway.

Paris serves 23 days in jail and suddenly she’s a jail house philosopher. She tried her best on Larry King Live last night to convince everyone that her time totally chnaged her. “Don’t serve the time; let the time serve you,” Hilton said. “I have a new outlook on life.”

She also said that being locked up gave her time to get to know herself and then said from now on, “I’m just going to follow all the laws.” Oh, thank you Miss Hilton. You’re new modesty and humility is inspiring. It must have really been a really very life changing experience for Princess Paris to realize that she’s supposed to follow all of the laws.

Paris X also claimed to have spent her time reading the Bible to pass the time. But when asked she couldn’t even come up with one passage that particularly inspired her. She probably never even picked up a fucking Bible.

To top it off she swore to Larry that she has never done drugs. Huh? Come on Larry, how did you not call her on any of this bullshit? If you’re going to let CNN force you into these meaningless, bullshit interviews with non-celebrities you might as well let them euthanize you and get it over with.

More weed smoking pics. Come on Larry! You’re going to let Paris Hilton make you look like a hack?

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