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• Having your breast bitten in public while someone takes a picture of it is now officially acceptable behavior for Miss New Jersey since pageant officals ruled that Amy Polumbo will keep her crown even after releasing some vanilla photos taken of herself. It’s like New Jersey just breathed life into every little girl out there with a dream. And by life I mean slow, agonizing, superficial death. [NYP]
• The LA Sheriff’s department launched an investigation to determine whether or not Paris Hilton received special treatment during her 23-day jail stint. Such as being given access to a wireless phone rather than having to wait in line for a pay phone. Being given a new uniform instead of a recycled one like everyone else among other things. Most notably, why she wasn’t shivved at some point in her brief stay? [Daily News]
• The Department of Homeland Security has refused to give New York more grant money to help them prevent or respond to more terror attacks. For example, my request a for a $187,000 per year salary for my part in the “If you see something, say something campaign” has been caught up in red tape for almost a year.
• Williamsburg hipsters ruining it for normal, lazy Americans who like to drive places get their way by having three parking spots near the Bedford Av L train stop turned into bike racks. It’s the first time in the city’s history that the city has taken out car spaces to make room for bikes. Expect a lot of flat bicycle tires as drivers circle the block for an extra 45 minutes looking for a spot. [amNY]
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