Bloomberg, who has taken to calling himself “the Full-Service Mayor” announced his plans today to unleash the fury of 15 new inspectors in crazy little scooters to patrol city streets and report quality-of-life issues to the 311 call center.

“We want a system that is responsive to the public. Being responsive to the people you work for is the hallmark of any successful organization and I think for too long government has been able to hide the problems and not have everybody see the real data and make sure they respond,” he said.

These staffers will report on a myriad of problems - from graffiti on buildings and illegal dumping to potholes - on a handheld GPS-wired Blackberry device to the city’s 311 call center. They plan to hit every city street once a month and generate about 1,000-3,000 reports a day.

“It is easy for you to a report a problem but you shouldn’t have to do that. We’d love to have you do it. But it is government’s responsibility to find the problems and fix them. Not to sit there and say ‘Duh! We didn’t know.’ That’s not what good government is all about.”

Imagine that, a government that not only finds problems, but fixes them. Genius!

Hey, maybe they can check out the homeless people pooping in Park Slope!

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“Somebody called and asked for Oprah Winfrey’s phone number and then somebody asked who won ‘American Idol,’” Mayor Bloomberg told a business group.

“My favorite was somebody called - they really did this - and asked if Ray Charles was Stevie Wonder’s uncle,” the mayor added.

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever called 311 for?

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