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I just wanted to apologize for that last post. It really did seem a lot funnier in my head.
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WASHINGTON D.C. - Bush shocked the nation today with his announcement of his choice to replace Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan. Bush introduced his pet llama Humphrey as his choice to replace Greenspan as chair of the Fed Reserve.
In just over three months, the chairman of the Federal Reserve’s 18 year tenure will come to an end. Speculation has kept Washingtonians abuzz for months on who Bush will nominate to succeed Greenspan. With Bush’s unpredictable record of appointees no one knew exactly what to expect. However, it seems fair to say that no one could have seen this coming.
The chairman of the Federal Reserve is a very high profile and powerful position. Many refer to the chair of the Fed reserve as the second most powerful person in the country.
Experts are torn over Bush’s decision because quite frankly, no one really knows much of anything about Humphrey. Conservatives worry that Bush is alienating his base by not fulfilling his promise to appoint a chairman with a more fiscally conservative record. A quick Lexus/Nexus search of "Humphrey the llama" and "finance" returned zero results.
Although Humphrey has no financial experience whatsoever, Bush claims that’s exactly why he picked the llama in the first place.
"Humphrey the llama is the right person for this job," Bush insisted to the crowd of stunned reporters. "Bringing new experience to the Federal Reserve is really important. Humphrey loves to eat grass, grass is green and so is money. He’ll do a heck of a job."
Bush’s history of cronyism and appointing people to high-level, important positions with absolutely no experience based soley on their loyalty to him has been questioned in the past. "We all saw what happened with Mike Brown as the head of FEMA, this is another catastrophe waiting to happen," said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid. "I’m not denying the loyalty of a pet llama, they are very loyal pets, but do I believe that we should have one heading the Federal Reserve? No way. Am I saying we’ll filibuster Humphrey? I can’t say that, at some point we need to put aside the partisan bickering and get on with governmenting."
Repeated calls to Humphrey today were not returned.
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I just got this e-mail from MoveOn about Vito Fossella receiving money from DeLay’s PAC. If you live in Staten Island, Bay Ridge or another part of the 13th District in New York, you can call Fossella and ask him to return the money he received from Tom DeLay. I don’t live in the 13th anymore but I did call to find out if they had plans to return the money. The woman I was transferred to said she hadn’t spoken with Fossella yet but that the donation was given "unbeknownst to the candidate", so they’re definitely trying to distance Fossella from the donation.
Your representative, Rep. Fossella, received $10,000 from Tom DeLay’s fundraising PAC.2 Will you call Rep. Fossella and ask him to return the money?
Here is what you need to know to make the call.
Congressman Vito Fossella
Phone: 202-225-3371
Tell the staff member who answers that you are a constituent and something like the following.
I heard that Rep. Fossella took money from Republican leader Tom DeLay’s PAC. I urge him to return the money in order to remove any question about the nature of the contribution. Associations with Tom DeLay create the appearance of corruption in our elected officials. I would like him to return the money and please send me a letter explaining his position on this issue.
We encourage you to speak from your heart about this issue when you call—don’t feel bound by our suggested script. The person answering the phones should ask for your name and address so they can send you the letter.
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No one has ever looked at the bloated infrastructure of the MTA and claimed that it was "too well managed". As if to prove everyone’s point, the MTA has inked a $40,500 contract with a verbal judo instructor. Yes, that’s right. A verbal, judo instructor who teaches verbal judo. George Thompson, the new verbal judo instructor also known as "Rhino" will be teaching MTA officers "martial arts of the mind and the mouth."
In other words, a "Woosha!"
That’s what cops are taught to exclaim after sweet-talking a vexing or volatile civilian.
Unfortunately, I don’t think any lawyers are going to be the beneficiaries of the "Woosha!" chant. Rhino has a special place in his heart for attorneys.
Take the one that casts lawyers as the enemy: "He’s that three-piece, shark-skinned, tassel-shoed, alligator-belted, four-eyed, Gray Poupon sucking S.O.B."
Listen, I don’t want to tell the MTA how to spend their money, but I would have taught them to say "Woosha!" or something similar for a couple hundred bucks and a 30 day metrocard.
I guess they have to find a way to get rid of their new found surplus in order to have a reason to raise the fares again.
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It’s understandable that a lot of people probably weren’t really paying attention in middle school, but somebody had to be listening to the importance of maintaining a food chain/ecosystem. Apparently no one in our government even went to middle school.
By a vote of 229 to 193, the House of Representatives moved Thursday to
undo some of the central provisions of the 32-year-old Endangered
Species Act and to require that agencies enforcing the law reimburse
property owners if the law’s impact reduces the value of their land.
Environmental groups expressed dismay at the measure, which, if
enacted, would represent one of the most far-reaching reversals of
environmental policy in more than a decade. Leading House Democrats
also said it created an unlimited financial entitlement for landowners.
Are we living in the twilight zone? The guy sponsoring this bill is a former rancher, I’m guessing he wasn’t a small time do it yourself kind of rancher either:
Under his bill, the process of putting a species on the federal list of
threatened or endangered species would become more difficult, with a
new requirement for economic analysis of such decisions.
Well, we could try and save land for these bears and stuff, but you know it might cost Johnny Q Richguy a few bucks that he could be making raping the land. Fuck the bears.
The measure passed in the house and will now be going to the senate. Please go to http://senate.gov and find your senators. E-mail them or call them and tell them to vote against this bill. Tell them you want them to keep the endangered species bill intact. It’ll only take five minutes out of your day and it’ll give you something to feel good about it.
Here are the two Senators for New York:
Hillary Clinton
(202) 224-4451
Chuck Shumer
(202) 224-6542
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After more than two years of working without a contract New York City teachers have finally reached a deal with the city. The contract, among other things, includes a 15% raise spread out over the next few years and is retroactive back to June of 2003.
The new contract is expected to effect more than just NYC teachers, bartenders who work the Friday shift at neighborhood bars celebrated the announcement too. "We’re going to be rich!", exclaimed Tommy Hitchens a bartender at The Gate in Park Slope, Brooklyn. "These teachers always come in on Friday’s and party it up, but with this new raise, I’m expecting some big ass tips."
BlogNYC sends its congratulations to NYC’s finest, public school teachers. If it were up to us you’d be making six figure salaries.
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