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Late Night with U2
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Storyu2U2 fans, get ready to dance around like a giddy school girl.  Tomorrow night Conan O’Brien will be turning over his late night show to Bono.  Yes, that’s right.  The entire show will be dedicated to U2.

Jim Pitt, the guy in charge of booking musical guests on Late Night, said it’s been his dream to have U2 on the show.  He finally came up with a plan that made it worthwhile.  They gave them the entire show.  They’re going to be interviewed by O’Brien as well as performing three songs.  Although I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be more.  If anyone remembers U2 on Saturday Night Live they ended the show by giving another impromptu performance while the credits ran.

Something tells me that people who have tickets for tomorrow night’s show are in for a treat.  At least the one’s who aren’t currently putting their tickets up for sale on ebay.

—admin



Field Trip: Seeing Is Believing
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Intrigued by a recent article in Newsday, Is Seeing Believing?, we ventured into Manhattan yesterday to the Metropolitan Museum of Art by car, since it was Rosh Hashana 5766 so there would be no traffic and plenty of parking. So we (my friend Pat and my son) put the top down, tied our hair up and hit the highway. Manhattan isn’t very far at all, but you’d never know it if you tried to drive there on a regular weekday.

As we approached the parking garage entrance on tony 5th Avenue, we were greeted by foreign born people in uniforms, hoping to achieve the American dream, who wanted to search my trunk. Fine. I popped the trunk in this post 9/11 city. The “guard” must have spent a whole second looking in my trunk being sure not to move any of the blankets and bags that were in there. Hmm. I feel safer. Maybe 3 blondes with ponytails in a convertible isn’t threatening enough to get a real search.

Our first stop in the museum was the exhibit we wanted to see: “The Perfect Medium: Photography and the Occult.” Oooh. Ghosts. From the 1860’s to WWII, people were very interested in the occult and seances were held frequently. Early photographers “caught” these mysterious shrouded beings and also captured mediums exuding ectoplasm from various orifices. The dripping ectoplasm photos were rather nauseating and looked curiously like man made spew. You have to give credit to the “mediums” who even put that junk in their mouths and other orifices in the first place.

The photo on the left was obviously a double exposure and was meant to be a spoof on the popular past time of ghostly photography. The photo on your right was pretty bogus looking as well. In my experience, ghostly energy is less well formed. All in all, the exhibit featured trick photography and/or parlor tricks. Mediums frequently hid behind curtains while trancing and then shrouded heads would pop through. I was disappointed because I have taken better ghost pictures. See below.

Our next stop of interest was “Prague, The Crown of Bohemia, 1347-1437″. It was mostly religious art and it really drove home the fact that Catholism is truly a Christian Blood Cult. Saintly relics (body parts) encased in golden tabletop tombs, bloody Jesus’ and curiously Czechoslovakian looking Madonna’s were featured. My favorite statue (I don’t have a photo) was a life sized scourged and bloody Jesus doing the hokey pokey. Well it looked like it as he was putting his right foot in and his bloody arms were flailing over his head.

Illuminated musical manuscripts were quite beautiful but the English translations to the hymns were quite gruesome: “The Stoning of Christ” and “The Flagellation of Jesus”. oy. We were making up the verses as we strolled along. Oh flagellate me in the name of Jesus, Lord… My son was saying that if Jesus ever came back, he’d be horrified. Ditto.

We stopped by the French Impressionists, the Egyptian mummies, the Greek God statues,medievall art and my favorite, naked Greek athletes painted on vessels. You know that gymnasia means “naked”, right? In pure NYC tradition, the gift shop prices were outrageous, the food was extremely overpriced and the parking fee was enormous ($30).

Who Does This Look Like?

Uncanny isn’t it?

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Cross posted at Blonde Sense
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—admin



Tribute To NYC’s Finest. NOT
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On my way home from the Metropolitan Museum, I headed north through Harlem to get to the Triboro Bridge. Naturally, while trying to get to the FDR Drive and I was under a series of overpasses (where there is normally a large population of homeless and drunk men who like to “clean” your windshield with dirty water for tips) I hit what looked like a typical metal thing in the road, which turned out to be a ditch (see right) , and my tire was ruined. Hissssssssss went the air.

So I pulled over and we (my son) had to change the tire in this rather deserted area. I wasn’t quite sure of where I was at that point and not sure where the bridge was. While I had walked back to take a picture of the grate (complete with dead rat) a police car came by. I waved. They ignored me. Hey, I’m breaking the law! I have a camera and I am taking pictures under the overpasses! (see left) Jeez. I just wanted to ask directions.

Not long after, another police car came by, they slowed down to look at the people who obviously don’t live in the ‘hood with the hazard lights flashing, and we waved. They kept going. Good Lord, I just wanted to ask directions. The son had the tire changing part under control.

Did you ever notice that those donut tires in the spare tire compartment of you car look like they came from a Barbie Dream Car set? The spare was about 5″ shorter than the rest of the tires. We scrapped the idea of going to the Triboro Bridge, headed south and took the 59th Street Bridge instead.

Somehow I blondely managed to get on the lower part of the bridge, but on the outside of the part where all the other cars were, driving along a narrow ledge inches from death, with a teeny tiny tire I wasn’t used to hoping it wouldn’t explode. I said about 10 Hail Mary’s, I kid you not, as I drove really slowly making sure that I did NOT look to my right and notice how high we were and all the water below. I fought my peripheral vision. I fought looking through my rear view mirror to see the line of cars behind me -exasperated people who wanted to take advantage of one of the few days where there was no traffic. I would have told my passengers to unhook their seatbelts just in case, but I couldn’t get the words out.

The donut tire worked ok. Gotta go to Goodyear this afternoon and get a new tire.
(crossposted at Blonde Sense)

—admin



Umm
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I just wanted to apologize for that last post.  It really did seem a lot funnier in my head.

—admin



Bush Nominates Pet Llama to Head Federal Reserve
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Captwhre10710041554bush_whre107WASHINGTON D.C. - Bush shocked the nation today with his announcement of his choice to replace Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan.  Bush introduced his pet llama Humphrey as his choice to replace Greenspan as chair of the Fed Reserve. 

In just over three months, the chairman of the Federal Reserve’s 18 year tenure will come to an end.  Speculation has kept Washingtonians abuzz for months on who Bush will nominate to succeed Greenspan.  With Bush’s unpredictable record of appointees no one knew exactly what to expect.  However, it seems fair to say that no one could have seen this coming.

The chairman of the Federal Reserve is a very high profile and powerful position.  Many refer to the chair of the Fed reserve as the second most powerful person in the country.

Experts are torn over Bush’s decision because quite frankly, no one really knows much of anything about Humphrey.  Conservatives worry that Bush is alienating his base by not fulfilling his promise to appoint a chairman with a more fiscally conservative record.  A quick Lexus/Nexus search of "Humphrey the llama" and "finance" returned zero results. 

Although Humphrey has no financial experience whatsoever, Bush claims that’s exactly why he picked the llama in the first place. 

Photo156llamahead_closeup_1"Humphrey the llama is the right person for this job," Bush insisted to the crowd of stunned reporters.  "Bringing new experience to the Federal Reserve is really important.  Humphrey loves to eat grass, grass is green and so is money.  He’ll do a heck of a job."

Bush’s history of cronyism and appointing people to high-level, important positions with absolutely no experience based soley on their loyalty to him has been questioned in the past.  "We all saw what happened with Mike Brown as the head of FEMA, this is another catastrophe waiting to happen," said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid.  "I’m not denying the loyalty of a pet llama, they are very loyal pets, but do I believe that we should have one heading the Federal Reserve?  No way.  Am I saying we’ll filibuster Humphrey?  I can’t say that, at some point we need to put aside the partisan bickering and get on with governmenting."

Repeated calls to Humphrey today were not returned.

—admin



Vito Fossella
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I just got this e-mail from MoveOn about Vito Fossella receiving money from DeLay’s PAC.  If you live in Staten Island, Bay Ridge or another part of the 13th District in New York, you can call Fossella and ask him to return the money he received from Tom DeLay.  I don’t live in the 13th anymore but I did call to find out if they had plans to return the money.  The woman I was transferred to said she hadn’t spoken with Fossella yet but that the donation was given "unbeknownst to the candidate", so they’re definitely trying to distance Fossella from the donation.

Your representative, Rep. Fossella, received $10,000 from Tom DeLay’s fundraising PAC.2 Will you call Rep. Fossella and ask him to return the money?

Here is what you need to know to make the call.

   

Congressman Vito Fossella
   
Phone: 202-225-3371

Tell the staff member who answers that you are a constituent and something like the following.

   

I heard that Rep. Fossella took money from Republican leader Tom DeLay’s PAC. I urge him to return the money in order to remove any question about the nature of the contribution. Associations with Tom DeLay create the appearance of corruption in our elected officials. I would like him to return the money and please send me a letter explaining his position on this issue.

We encourage you to speak from your heart about this issue when you call—don’t feel bound by our suggested script. The person answering the phones should ask for your name and address so they can send you the letter.

—admin



Woosha!
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No one has ever looked at the bloated infrastructure of the MTA and claimed that it was "too well managed".  As if to prove everyone’s point, the MTA has inked a $40,500 contract with a verbal judo instructor.  Yes, that’s right.  A verbal, judo instructor who teaches verbal judo.  George Thompson, the new verbal judo instructor also known as "Rhino" will be teaching MTA officers "martial arts of the mind and the mouth."

In other words, a "Woosha!"

That’s what cops are taught to exclaim after sweet-talking a vexing or volatile civilian.

Unfortunately, I don’t think any lawyers are going to be the beneficiaries of the "Woosha!" chant.  Rhino has a special place in his heart for attorneys.

Take the one that casts lawyers as the enemy: "He’s that three-piece, shark-skinned, tassel-shoed, alligator-belted, four-eyed, Gray Poupon sucking S.O.B."

Listen, I don’t want to tell the MTA how to spend their money, but I would have taught them to say "Woosha!" or something similar for a couple hundred bucks and a 30 day metrocard.

I guess they have to find a way to get rid of their new found surplus in order to have a reason to raise the fares again.

—admin



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